Mr. Waller

Definitely going to revisit his discography during the holidays.

Demonstrative Pork Cuts: Isso, Isto, (or Alot of This and That)

Time for another Portuguese lesson - Gritty style (so you know it's good). Today we deal with demonstratives, which along with articles and quantifiers make up determiners . Anyway enough small talk! Picture virtual bitchslap when uttering previous sentence. Let's look at two demonstratives that are often used, and misused in Portuguese by the Grittless: isso and isto.

Isso denotes something that is located away from the speaker while Isto alludes to that which is near him/her: This here (Isto aqui), and that there (e isso ali).

Let's simulate a common occurrence and put our knowledge to use. You are attending a feijoada and munching on pig ears - which you love - you then spot the person next to you devouring pig feet and marmite (gross). The following exchange ensues:

You ...... "Isso que você está comendo é repulsivo, já isto que eu estou apreciando é delicioso."
That (pig feet and marmite) which you are eating is repulsive; yet this (pig ears) which I am enjoying is delicious.

Person Next To You ....... "Bite me".

These situations come up quite often so make the best of those opportunities and put this vocab to use.
End of lesson. De nada.

Gritty's Mayan Destruction Month: A Tribute to Curses

Sure the Mayans first devised a fancy calender to only then curse the world to a December 21st ending. We should not overlook other curses though, each one elaborate in their own right. To this end I will now revist one great curse a week before the world ends (according to the Mayans). We start with an abonimation cast because of an American quaterback who ended up spending most of his career playing in the Canadian Football league, so you know this curse was custom made for losers.

On Why You Should Never Sleep With a Colleague

Ouch!

Grittjokes: The Fourth One (Thanksgiving Edition)

 

 

- Why did the Brazilian turkey perform a musical while wandering around the homestead?

 - He was perusing the premises.

------------------------

Rate the joke:

1. This is a Thanksgiving miracle.

2. Gobble gobble to you jive turkey joketeller.

3. Listening to this is worse than animal cruelty.

4. Even  Peta chicks decided to shower after hearing this one.

And Now Trees + Sculptures + Gardens

Courtesy of Mr. Gabriel Fonseca.

Trees are Freaking Awesome

This is the kind of conversation that I imagine Tom from over at Eat Rio having with himself.

Trouble in My Neighborhood

This is what happens at least twice a week on the steps that lead up to my front door. I have already informed the police, and nothing. I need to move.




   

WIGS: Celia

From these people.

Marina Wisnik

Singing "Mar te Achar"

Missing Cardoso

He really was The Accidental President: what preceded and followed in Brazil is/was mediocre at best.

Whenever You're Away From Me

Gene Kelly in a scene from Xanadu. Pretty cool methinks.
Whenever You're Away From Me ~ Gene Kelly&Olivia... por Cehcw

A.R. - The Ammons Dude.

So I Said I Am Ezra by A. R. Ammons

So I said I am Ezra
and the wind whipped my throat
gaming for the sounds of my voice
I listened to the wind
go over my head and up into the night
Turning to the sea I said
I am Ezra
but there were no echoes from the waves
The words were swallowed up
in the voice of the surf
or leaping over the swells
lost themselves oceanward
Over the bleached and broken fields
I moved my feet and turning from the wind
that ripped sheets of sand
from the beach and threw them
like seamists across the dunes
swayed as if the wind were taking me away
and said
I am Ezra
As a word too much repeated
falls out of being
so I Ezra went out into the night
like a drift of sand
and splashed among the windy oats
that clutch the dunes
of unremembered seas

Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo

So can the Portuguese correspondent of Buffalo - Búfalo - also be used on its own to form a sentence? The answer is no; but almost since in Portuguese Búfalo refers to the animal, and that same animal's hide. So (então) you can say (você pode dizer) ♠ Eu comprei búfalo de búfalo (I purchased a buffalo's buffalo hide). Ok, this sounds stupid: I suppose one could just say Comprei couro de búfalo and this would make the meaning clear without having to use the word búfalo twice. The thing is that the question posed in the post is not what is the most feasible way of communicating that you purchased buffalo hide - in Portuguese - it is can you use the word búfalo twice, each with a distict meaning, to create a sentence? Ok, that isn't really the question as what I actually asked was if you can use these words, on their own, to create a sentence. And the answer continues to be no; but had I focused on that then a transition would not have been possible and the post would have died.  And I just couldn't  kill a post that I know you would grow to love, not regretting for a moment having read to completion.  

A Song Rehearsal in Angolan Portuguese and English

Plus what seems to be a native Angolan tongue, and just a bit of French.

All this performed by an Angolan artist I stumbled upon on YouTube. I think she sings like an angel, and recorded it in a way that these languages blend together quite well. You can find the channel featuring her other songs here.



I just can't figure out her name as it shifts from the English Tiger Wilson to the Lusophonized Taiguer Wilson. I wonder why she didn't go ahead and convert Wilson to Uilson as well. Whatever. Anyway she sure knows how to sing.

Thin Lizzy

Time for a classic, so . . .

Eddie Izzard is The Best Vader Ever

Tom Sowell

Against judicial activism, and for civil rights.

Christopher Hitchens and Newt Gingrich Together?

Yep. Wierd, and interesting.



Then Hitchens goes on to say that Margaret Thatcher is sexy, and proves it.

Lovely, and Bittersweet

I haven't thought about the movie below for ages, and the scene definitely wasn't one that stood out for me when I did; but after reading this it suddenly surfaced. Wierd, in a nice way. Reminds me of another phenomenon I don't understand.

Grittsounds: Cidadão Instigado

A lovely track from CI called "Os Urubus so Pensam em te Comer".

Patton Oswald's Journey to Freedom

Give it a try: it's a refreshing tale. There is a short comercial before Oswald's story by the way.



Patton Oswalt's magical black man

Mas, Más, Mais . . . Oh Man

After a previous analysis of the dysfunctional Porque family it is time to move on to our next aula de português (Portuguese lesson: feel free to be impressed). Anyway our focus now is set upon yet another troublesome set of palavras (words, dorkus): yes, I am referring to the moron trio that is mas, más, and mais. As was the case with my Porque post I will concentrate on everyday, normal usage of the material at hand. If you are prone to displays of affectation; or just a wierdo whose life and thus context when employing this vocabulary often derails towards the exclamatory "mais mais maiiis!" ("more, more, mooore!") end of the spectrum then please shoot yourself perv look elsewhere.

The material is substantial so let's get started.

First on our study list - and I use said term loosely - is mas.

Mas:

I like to refer to this word are Mr. Emphatic-Conjunction.

This because mas can denote emphasis, as in " Estou cansado, mas muito cansado" - where mas emphasizes the state of being tired, "I am tired, (very) very tired".

Then there is mas when used as the conjunction "But". Here we see our hero in this scenario - "Posso ir, mas só se você for também" - which translates to "I could go; but only if you come as well".

Now on to más.
Más:

This word will convey a negative aspect to what it describes (yep: más is an adjective).

Ele, e seus amigos, são más influências. (He and his friends are a bad influence).

We end our adventure with mais - please contain your enthusiasm.

Mais:

This is the adverbial show off of the gang: mais, which means "more",

Eu tenho mais do que você (I have more than you).

A minha lasanha é mais saborosa do que a sua (My lasanha is tastier than yours).

So there you have it. These are the mas, más, mais that you will most frequently run into, if you are normal. For further torture click on this link, which I found randomly. Thank you author of "this link that I found randomly".

Grittjokes: The Third One

Why did Senhora Galinha insist on laying her eggs in front of all the other chickens, and in an upright position?

Because she wanted a standing ovation.

----------------------
Rate this joke.

1. You are a god, period.
2. Hens, galinhas and omelettes everywhere should give you a standing ovation for this gem.
3. Next time warn me before you lay one of these: had I brought a barfbag my keyboard would still be pristine.
4. Again, just shoot yourself.

Love's Recovery

"Meanwhile our friends we thought were so together They've all gone and left each other in search of fairer weather. And we sit here in our storm and drink a toast To the slim chance of love's recovery."

An Indigo Girl's song covered by the duo below - in lovely fashion.

The Great Paul Mercurio

A philosopher doormat if there ever was one.

Grittjokes: The Second One

O que disse a coruja inglesa ao ser atingida por uma pedra?

Owl!

Adorable Anna

Awesome, except for the breastfeeding story below which is kind of wierd.

So to Jump

And send your pictures here

Happy Mother's Day

Image found at Rachel's blog.

Created by Dennis Smith.

Words of Wisdom: The Eye Sore

"If you so proudly claim not to see color perhaps this is a time for humility, and a visit to the ophtalmologist." .... The Gritty Poet

And on the Sixth Day the Buildings Turned to Trees

From this artist.

da-Dum, da-Dum . . .

From http://iambicpentameter.net/

"What is Iambic Pentameter?

Let’s define some terms to help explain this one. Meter refers to the pattern of syllables in a line of poetry. The most basic unit of measure in a poem is the syllable and the pattern of syllables in a line, from stressed to unstressed or vice versa. This is the meter. Syllables are paired two and three at a time, depending on the stresses in the sentence.

Two syllables together, or three if it’s a three-syllable construction, is known as a foot. So in a line of poetry the cow would be considered one foot. Because when you say the words, the is unstressed and cow is stressed, it can be represented as da DUM. An unstressed/stressed foot is known as an iamb. That’s where the term iambic comes from.

Pentameter is simply penta, which means 5, meters. So a line of poetry written in pentameter has 5 feet, or 5 sets of stressed and unstressed syllables. In basic iambic pentameter, a line would have 5 feet of iambs, which is an unstressed and then a stressed syllable. For example:

If you would put the key inside the lock

This line has 5 feet, so it’s written in pentameter. And the stressing pattern is all iambs:

if YOU | would PUT | the KEY | inSIDE | the LOCK

da DUM | da DUM | da DUM | da DUM | da DUM

That’s the simplest way to define iambic pentameter."

----------

Nice. Thanks for the explanation there iambic dude above: it makes the song below ever the more interesting.

Grittjokes: The First One

- What did the bilingual parrot say at the annual translators dinner?

- Polyglot wants a cracker.

Rate this joke.

1. Awesome. You rule.
2. Not so good; but I still want you.
3. Crap. You should be shot.
4. I just vomited, thanks alot!

Ron Interviews Rebecca

Don't fight it, don't fight it . . .

Grittreviews: "Limite"

Limite (1931)
April 21, 1979
Screen: Old Brazilian Release in New-Film Series
By JANET MASLIN
Published: April 21, 1979

"Limite" doesn't exactly belong in the Museum of Modern Art's New Directors/New Films series, because it was first released almost 50 years ago and was directed by a Brazilian, Mario Peixoto, who is now almost 70 years old. However, its inclusion in the series can be explained by its relative obscurity, the praise it received from Sergei Eisenstein and its extraordinarily youthful energies. "Limite" is feverishly beautiful and desperately ambitious, even when it isn't clear."
Read the entire review here.

Ok, so this isn't really a Grittreview since I ended up posting part of Mrs. Maslin's take on the movie, written in 1979. So I'll give you the conclusion of my evalutation of the film: just watch it.
The first 8 minutes below for your convenience.

Dolphins and Wales

The title above does not refer to two noble creatures: it is about one noble creature, and the people of Wales.
It seems that dolphins who inhabit Cardigan Bay - off the coast of Wales - have developed a peculiar entonation, according to this from BBC NEWS:

"Ronan Hickey analysed 1,882 whistles for his masters degree in marine mammal science at University of Wales, Bangor . . . Bottlenose dolphins are talking to each other using a dialect that could be unique to Wales, claim scientists.
The whistles of dolphins in Cardigan Bay are different to those living off the Irish coast, a study has found."

Unfortunately Mr. Hickey did not return any of my calls for some follow up (I sent him a link to this Blog, isn't that enough?).

So I decided to seek commentary from another expert.



It makes me wonder if dolphins are able to develop that ever so annoying accent from Rio de Janeiro.

Serenity - in Natalie

"I could feel at the time
There was no way of knowing . . ."

I woke up feeling quite overwhelmed this morning. Perhaps this is due to certain things which have been bouncing around in my head as of late, concerning issues that need direction, and solutions. Anyway, sometimes when this happens I look for serenity in a song. I start by just blatantly admitting to myself that whatever it is that is bothering me hasn't been resolved as I expected, and by the time I had expected (the time thing really gets to me). I know that I've been perfectly aware of what has been getting on my nerves, it's clear enough; but somehow just owning up to and giving this 'confession' its private bracket in time helps me take the next step where I kind of scan my brain for a song, any song, and then consider if it is suited to help me unwind. I am constantly baffled that this often leads me to something that I find relaxing (yes, I know: wierd).
So today I did this once again, and the song below came to mind for some reason, and listening to it really did calm me down, which will hopefully also help me take a step back during the day to gain greater perspective over the situation. Oh, when doing this I prefer to just listen to the song, dispensing with visual elements. Yet I decided to post the video anyway, since it is nice, and you can just focus on the audio if you wish.

Do you ever feel swamped, and if so is there a work of art that is soothing to you?

The Quest for the Perfect Porque

The words porque, por que, porquê and por quê will probably torture you sooner or later as you pick up Portuguese. Since I'm all about the love, and avoid the torture - except in states where said practice is legal - I've decided to offer some tips on the matter (note to self: avoid leper joke after "tips"). So let us look at how each poorkay should be used, and their proper setttings.
Also important to remember before our journey begins is that these words are all pronounced exactly the same way. So don't go pausing after the por in por que, as opposed to an uninterrupted rendition of porque. Doing this does not convey the different meaning that pertains to each word, and will ultimately make you sound like a moron.

Let's begin with por que.
This por que translates to "Why" in English, so use him when asking a question : "Por que você chegou atrasado?" (Why did you arrive late?).

Now, moving on to porque.
This guy comes in an one piece suit - porque - and Mr. One Piece is all about providing answers, so think "because" when you see him:
Eu estou atrasado porque o meu carro quebrou (I am late because my car broke down).

The rest of the gang - Mr. Accented Por quê, and Senhor One Piece Suit Accented Porquê - do not merit my time as they get on my nerves, are rarely encountered in conversation, plus the accent looks silly. If you want to study their usage though you can read this.
I also recommend checking out the Portuguese related info offered by a user - of the forum linked above - called Macunaíma. Her submissions can be found here.

Now for a really neat trick you can use with this word: everytime you hear that typically mispronounced sound of porque being uttered by a fellow expat you should automatically say "butter".

Like in the classic ad below.



I should get a Nobel Prize for these tips (and then the leper . . .)

Happy St. Patrick's Day Ya Snivering Snakes

I think the most interesting thing about St. Patrick is that he was actually a slave, born in Scotland, who was shipped of to Ireland. His tale takes a turn for the better as he escapes servitude and joins the clergy, to later become the most influential figure in turning Ireland towards Christianity, and away from the pagan traditions it adhered to at the time.

Then there's the whole driving the snakes out of Ireland bit, which the cartoon above portrays quite well methinks.

Read more about São Patricio here

And, above all, have a nice green celebration today.

With a Slack Jaw

Yet much to say.

Pictures of You

By way of this lovely site.

'Remembering
How you used to be
Slow drowned
You were angels
So much more than everything
Hold for the last time, then slip away, quietly
Open my eyes
But I never see anything'

Just Say No

Anyway, do female to male leap year marriage proposals really happen? I've never heard of one.

Words to Remember: Montanha-russa

Port: montanha-russa - substantivo, singular, feminino
Eng: roller coaster - noun

Yes, a roller coaster translates to montanha-russa - Russian mountain - in Portuguese (or 'The' Portuguese for article afficionados). This because it turns out that roller coasters were first devised in Russia.

So there you have it: one more useful word for your vocab stash. And yes, you can use the term in the roller coaster of emotions context (for those with pregnant acquaintances).

- Pregnant woman... "Eu estou grávida e sinto uma montanha-russa de emoções."

- You... "Ok, adeus."

Noteworthy Morons: Argentina _ _ _ ***

"Noteworthy Morons" or NM, intends on celebrating idiots that make a habit of assassinating common sense and have long developed acute immunity to logic.
Argentina - a nation (believe it or not) - has been bestowed the honor of being the first clutz, of what will hopefully be a long list of dweebs, to receive this acknowledgement. The South American nation has displayed great levels of backwardness, in a region ripe with ferocious competitors of moron, and hence made it to the list that is NM.
So what elevated this country to such notoriety, why discriminate you ask: isn't this just one more, of a long list of characters, that could have provided script fodder to the screenwriters of "Dumb and Dumber"? Are you not making a big deal of what seems to be just another wack job - a common estupido of estupidos? The answer lies within the pages of "The Economist" which simply decided to stop publishing Argentina's inflation index. Yep, you know you've made it to the gallery of clown when the foremost publication of economy and finance decides you are a big fat liar, and that there is no amount of decimal point tampering that can cover it up.

So Congratulations Argentina. Or, as The Economist calls you:
"Senhorita Footnote _ _ _*** 25%"

Dumbass.

Picture from here.

Why "Three O'Clock High" is the Better Carnival

Because the crafty little story behind said movie, along with a great soundtrack, transports the spectator - in harmony - to an interesting climax. Does Carnival do that? Well, if it does then I just don't feel it.

So good riddance to Samba.
And hello to the tangerine dream below.

The Keystone Cop

He starts out like this:

"Keystones are not needed. So we don't need a page about keystones. Ah well, let's just fill up this page with miscellaneous observations about beams and arches. Actually, you will probably have already realised from the existence of three-pin arches that the keystone is inessential"

Yet also includes this:

"Since this page is rather negative about keystones, we could also mention an article in Arab Construction World Nov 2005 / Vol XXII - Issue 7, in which Hakan Sandbirg points out that the value of the keystone is that it reminds us that "until the structure is complete, we have to keep thinking" - an important point"

And so I just couldn't stop reading and finished the whole chapter on, well, keystones - from this great site.

________

In keeping with the general video friendly theme of the blog I've added some Keystone Cops documentary footage below ( Although the article was awesome I just couldn't find any interesting video footage about actual keystones).

'Tis The Season to be Drowsy. . .

Yep: it's Carnival. For me a time to hibernate, and let the sambums have their fun ( only kidding sambums, we're pals).
Anyway, to prove that I am cool and also hip to the Carnival scene some Gilberto Gil has been made available below. The song would probably be heard during a Festa Junina instead of a Carnival celebration and I know what you're thinking: interesting, Festa Junina is far superior to Carnival and you are wise to notice. True, thank you.

Around the House

Lovely vid. All is improvisatition (with a professional touch).



From these guys.

The Gritty Guide to Expat Haircuts

People often complain about having a bad hair day, or never being satisfied with the haircuts they receive (with expats being major whiners due to the whole language barrier sob story). Only the chosen few, however, bother to research what their hairstyle should be: the style which matches their features. And, because matching hair to features basically means discovering the shape of one's face to then find a hairstyle that is suitable to it, then the task at hand is not at all difficult.
Since I'm hot - and of good Christian upbringing - I've decided to enlighten the meek (who won't inherit this capillar Earth) with a little guide on how to get proper expat haircuts, and then communicate said info to their Brazilian hairdressers in Portuguese.

Ok, first let's find your facial shape, and visit the site where our tips will be translated from: to do this we must click here.
Alrighty then, now do as the link says and measure; take your time so to get it right.

So now you've realized that there are five facial shapes, and have found the one you belong to. I have classified them below in both English and Portuguese. And beside each shape directions are provided, in Portuguese, regarding the proper haircut for that specific face. Make sure you feed this info to your hairdresser, along with the sample picture linked under "examples", before superfluous chit-chat begins (of the sort which includes novelas, and ends with " wow, that's really more insight into your love life than I am comfortable with").

Facial Shapes to Hairstyles/Formato Facial e o Corte Compatível

Square..... (Quadrado): O corte sugerido para este formato de rosto possui comprimento médio ou curto. Os contornos devem ser ondulados ou arrendondados. Evite cabelos longos, e penteados retos.
Examples: Masc, Fem

Diamond... (Diamante) Este formato de rosto lhe dá muitas opções de cortes. É possível ser bem experimental. Entretanto (notice the bold emphasis of Entretanto) não se esqueça de enfatizar as belas maçãs (beautiful cheekbones) do seu rosto, e não escondê-las com muito cabelo em sua cara. Se você tem um formato diamante bem acentuado opte por um corte curto, lembrando sempre de deixar um pouco de peso/volume de cabelo na nuca ( Nuca is Nape,) para equilibrar suas maçãs faciais.
So yeah: the beautiful cheekbones de seu rosto thing is key for diamond heads.
Examples: Masc, Fem

Heart.... Coração: Um Bob na altura do queixo é aconselhavel para este tipo de formato do rosto já que faz com que a área do maxilar pareça mais larga, e portanto mais equilibrada com o resto do seu rosto. Penteados mais longos também funcionam, mas evite estilos cujas alturas sejam na copa, ou penteado para trás e/ou super curtos.
Examples: Masc, Fem

Oblong/Rectangular... Retangular: Cortes de comprimento curto ou médio são indicados. Utilize camadas ao redor do rosto: elas irão suavizar os ângulos faciais. Evite penteados muito longos.Examples: Masc, Fem

Oval..... (Oval: Duh :-)) Este formato facial é bem equilibrado e proporcional. Por isso um rosto oval aceita praticamente qualquer tipo de corte, e penteado.This is considered the perfect shape for a face, so count your blessings oval heads. And ovaladies: call me.
Examples: Masc, Fem

So, there you have it.
I hope this was informative, and can be of practical use. Um bom corte para todos.

R.I.P Whitney

"So when the night falls, my lonely heart calls. . ."



Thank you, and God bless.

Bilingual Bumper Philosophy

Storm a-Brewin'

In Venâncio Aires, Brazil.

A destination covered quite well in an American guy's travel journal , which I found on-line. Read the part where he arrives in town and is greeted with a custom made sign, designed by his hosts. Hilarious, and kind of endearing.

Pictures from these guys (thanks "these guys").

Duh, It's so Obvious Brazil - The Travessia Elevada

In this DISOB - Duh, It's so Obvious Brazil - the Grittmeister touches upon elevation, of the street kind ( yes, tough street lingo from a refined poet).

I am talking about different planes between street and surroundings. This "revolutionary" concept is already in use in some parts of Southern Brazil from what I have observed. Now isn't it obvious that a simple elevation at crossing points and intersections would increase visibility, hence safety, and reduce accidents plus their incurring costs: usually the public health system has to care for uninsured pedestrians.
I don't want to get into the emotional toll accidents inflict on families since that is just too harsh.

Now look at this elevation being all gritty and useful in a Southern Brazilian city.



DUH BRAZIL.

On Why I'm Hot

Holly for a Laugh

Holly Walsh: brilliant, and lovely.
By the way, when she references "loo roll" that means toliet paper.
See, a comedian that is not only funny; but speaks funny as well.

If I Should Fall From Grace with God

Bury me at sea
Where no murdered ghost can haunt me
If I rock upon the waves
Then no corpse can lie upon me

How can one not love them ?

I still do after all these years, and hell, I can't resist so here's another one.

"Ruby": according to Adam Carolla

Norm MacDonald also weighs in as they deconstruct Kenny Roger's iconic song.

How to (or not to) Behave on a Date

Dating recommendations from the year 1938.

The Crust of Spirituality

Remember dear reader: The well is deep, and I wish you well.

And if I Don't Hold Her...

will she just
f
a
l
l

d
o
w
n
'
'
'
',
?

Grittreview: "The Room"

"The Room" is a movie.
Movies are stories or events recorded by a camera as a set of moving images and shown in a theater or on television; a motion picture.
-------------

"The Room" is to cinematography what the review above is to insightful commentary.

Now meet the director, producer and main actor of this gem - Tommy Wiseau.



Yes, it really is that bad. So bad that it's good. Plus, contrary to what the director says in the interview, and according to what the cast claims: Wiseau was actually trying to make a drama, not a black comedy.
Anyway, I strongly recommend this crapfest. You've probably never seen anything like it, and it will make you feel a whole lot better about your skills in whatever it is that you do. Also, viewing such an aberration will provide the courage you need to finally engage in that new activity you so want to try; yet refrain from due to a constant fear of failure. After all, you can't possibly manage to do worse than Wiseau and his crew. So bad, in fact, as to end up being so very good.

I'm giving "The Room" my top score: ***** Five Astergrits

Now before we part let us not forget: movies are stories or events recorded by a camera...

Urbanized Typeface

Nice.

Urbanized Typeface : Shibuya08-09 [PV:EN] from yang02 on Vimeo.

The Expectation that Invites Bitterness (According to Dr. Love)

So don't fret if your relationship fell apart as it probably ended because you expected, above all, to be happy. But happiness is not the point: it was never part of the plan.



Dr.Love is wise: it really is just so much easier being a porcupine.